“Could you not stand so close to me?” I said.
So, he moved away and I immediately wanted to reach out and pull him back in. I don’t know what it means to love someone else. My feelings scare me.
So when he asked, “Can I sit next to you?” My heart was beating the words, “yes, yes, yes” so hard against my ribcage I was sure they’d break free, flutter up into his ears and continue the rhythm against his eardrums.
“yes, yes, yes.”
But he couldn’t hear me and the words got caught in my throat. For some reason my brain translated “yes” into “no thanks I’m fine.” My body froze up. I reacted on impulse.
I don’t know what I’m protecting myself from.
I just know that looking at you makes me feel funny. I can’t decide if I want to kiss you or punch you in the face.
But that’s not funny at all, really. Because I know I’ll end up crying over you anyway.
Punch in the face it is, then.
(Source: scribbles-and-scratches)
